The Bidens Brought Back The Easter Egg Roll And Made It Lame

There hasn’t been a White House Easter egg roll since 2019 due to the COVID-19 pandemic real or imagined. Now that the pandemic is no longer politically expedient under control (for now), the Biden’s decision to bring back the annual tradition of opening the White House lawn to America’s most elite and connected children to play with some eggs and meet some celebrities against their will at the behest of their brown nosing, social climbing parents. 

Here is a rundown of how the easter egg roll was Bidened into submission in its not-so-triumphant return. 

1. The theme was EGGucation 

We get it, Jill. You’re a teacher. All of the kids able to get tickets to the event are probably in private or otherwise fancy schools. They don’t need a focus on STEM okay? Let it go.

2. The Easter bunnies were masked

So….you can have an event with 30,000 people not wearing masks but you still think mask propo is important on cartoon animal cutouts? Weirdly some of the cutouts didn’t have masks so IDK what was going on. 

3. No justice for Major 

The Biden’s new puppy, Commander, who is a purebred German Shepherd was invited to attend the event whereas their rescue which they REHOMED, Major, was still banned from the grounds living with some friends of the Bidens now.

4. No sign of concern over “food shortages” 

Joe Biden recently announced we should expect food and supply shortages because of his failed leadership both domestically and internationally. And yet, the White House was delivered 90,000 eggs, 50,000 of which were hand-dyed and hard boiled, free of charge. The price of eggs currently sits on average at $2.50 (up from $1.70 late last year) and is expected to rise for American households.    

5. It rained

Sucks to suck Joe.

6. It appears Joe and Jill interacted with the children and families nearly not at all

The two made welcome remarks from their literal ivory tower (the Truman balcony) and then peaced out to Camp David shortly after. A stark contrast to President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump who interacted closely with all of their guests. Even the Obama’s had the integrity to mingle with the common.