Trump Derangement Syndrome
BREAKING: 10 Things President Trump Could Do With His Jan 6th Committee Subpoena
Apparently, the January 6 Committee is still a thing and had a public meeting this week despite the fact that no one cares about it. I guess they voted to subpoena President Donald Trump and the vote was – really shockingly – unanimous amongst the absolutely single-minded group with no interest in an objective investigation.
The subpoena is super serious and very important for this very credible and real committee which will only exist for the next eight weeks. So here is what I think President Trump should do with his very official and important scary subpoena:
- Put it in Melania’s underwear drawer for the FBI to find for a laugh
- Flush it down the toilet like he did with other docs definitely for real cause definitely real photos prove it
- Give it to Hunter Biden to make art totally legitimately worth millions of dollars
- Tear it up dramatically after Nancy Pelosi finishes a speech because that is what adults do
- Use it to make a paper crown since Joe Biden says he’s the MAGA King
- Give it to Joe Biden so he’ll think he is actually Donald Trump
- Make a beautiful paper banner to honor Mexican culture because he loves Hispanics
- Blow it up and make it a timely pop culture Halloween costume
- Give it back to Liz Cheney so she can tape it over her bed for the lonely nights
- Put it in the same drawer at the Department of Justice as Hunter Biden’s laptop and Jeffrey Epstein’s client list
