Eric Swalwell’s Pro-Choice Porn Is My New Favorite Thing To Hate

Eric Swalwell made a campaign ad where he accuses “MAGA Republicans” of wanting women to be arrested for having an abortion. He then has a cast of all-white actors (maybe one not) act out his wildest fantasy of the evil MAGA police arresting and harassing a white lady for getting an abortion. It’s deliciously bad. I’m obsessed with how offensive and weird it is. It’s so creepy (and so deeply white – which would be normal and fine except how Swalwell says he’s Mr. Woke diversity savior) that I may never experience this level of hate/joy ever again (until Swalwell thinks he can be president again. Delightful). 

Here’s the play-by-play: 

It opens on a very white family doing white family things. White mom and racially ambiguous dad feeding their two children they DIDN’T kill and when a knock comes at the door: 

It’s the fuzz! But no it’s not about mommy’s opioid addiction, she’s under arrest for illegal termination of a pregnancy: 

“You gotta be kidding me!” Says  mad racially ambiguous dad. “That is my personal business!” says affronted white mommy. 

The older child is the real star of this commercial cause I feel like she maybe was the one who called the cops. Look at her. She’s living for this drama. She will for sure be at America Fest 2022.

The cops say they have to give the murderess mommy a physical examination. She recoils. Racially ambiguous dad jumps in “You can’t touch her!” A HERO HAS EMERGED: 

The po po draw their guns THEY WILL WASTE THAT MOTHERF*CKING BABY KILLER!

The born fetus is making quite a bit of noise actually at this point which may be the best point the ad makes in favor of choice: 

She gets it: 

Turning Point USA’s newest recruit asks “Why is this happening” but it remains very clear that she is the one that called the cops. Look at that smile. 

White mommy gets arrested and the cops sternly say “we’re just enforcing the law, here.” 

Then we get some messaging. “Elections Have Consequences.” Unlike unprotected sex. 

“Vote Democrat on November 8” Hilariously not “Vote Swalwell cause that would be less popular 

“Protect women’s rights and freedom” Women’s rights aren’t the same thing as freedom, we’re doing two different things. 

White mommy is back to plead “please don’t do this” which is ironically the last thing her unborn child would have said had she asked before killing it. 

ERIC SWALWELL WILL PAY FOR ALL ABORTIONS ANY TIME LADIES! LINE EM UP! Fang Fang hasn’t called.

Here’s the whole amazing thing