If Not McCarthy, Then Who? A Definitive List Of The BEST Possible Speaker Options

Former Speaker Kevin McCarthy was removed from his position on October 3rd which also poetically happens to be Mean Girls Day. Back in January when Kevin McCarthy made his 15 vote stand to be Speaker in the first place, many centrists cried “If not McCarthy than who?” Free Press Fail had plenty of suggestions. 

The centrists were back at it claiming no possible other person in America could replace Kevin McCarthy as main clown Speaker. Some candidates have already been announced. But here are some fresh ideas both from within the body and outside: 

1. That one judge who is presiding over the Trump case in New York and preparing for his big TV moment

Also so far he’s tossed out like 80% of the substance of Leticia James’s case so we’ll see how it goes but maybe this flamboyant icon is exactly what we need.

2. That alien that got found in Mexico 

He’s dead and extra-terrestrial but like…is that worse than Nancy Pelosi? 

3. “That Motherf***er isn’t real” lady 

She knows to be suspicious of everyone. She knows how to speak her mind. She is who we need. 

4. Congressman Mark Amodei of Nevada

Congressman Amodei is currently a high ranking member of the House Appropriations committee. Amodei is a little known member but this was his statement when Eric Holder finally resigned from the Obama administration. He’s a wealth of plucky and often baffling commentary. One time he reported a snot nosed little high school punk (who had already been in trouble for vulgar Trump rants) for harassing his office during school hours as part of a student lead “activist movement” and 100% stood by it. 

Mr. Amodei is a man of consequences. Of hellfire and brimstone but also a lot of humor. This would be an entertaining pick for all of us.

5. Congresswoman Virginia Foxx

Congresswoman Foxx is … .formidable. She is known within the walls of Congress as a very tough cookie. Do not get caught riding the Member elevators without a pin if Rep. Foxx is on board. I can’t name names (for their safety) but multiple Members of Congress have told me (and many) they’re terrified of her.

This too could be hilarious in the context of the gavel. 

6. James O’Keefe

TBH I’m not sure why we haven’t floated this before. He’s all about exposing the truth and his penchant for theater will do nothing but improve morale. For us.

7. Congressman George Santos

I think this idea speaks for itself. 

8. Ron DeSantis 

It would be funny to make him Speaker then immediately remove him just because we can.

Good luck to the good candidates (JIm Jordan only)!