Who Is Mike Collins And Why Should He Be Speaker?

It’s the self-awareness for me.

Rep. Mike Collins from Georgia should be Speaker of the House and he is officially endorsed by Jennifer Zilla of Free Press Fail. 

The House of Representatives voted to vacate Speaker McCarthy with only 8 republicans voting for his removal along with the entire democratic caucus. To replace him, the Republican conference has been faced with the apparently rather difficult task of “not being petty idiots.” Something which has largely eluded them thus far. After the two only sensible candidates (sensible in that they enjoyed support from the vast majority of the conference) Rep. Steve Scalies of Louisiana and Rep. Jim Jordan from Ohio failed to secure 217 votes to become Speaker, nine new candidates rushed to the field to try and snag their seat of power. None of those candidates have anything resembling consensus or 217 votes at the time this article was written. 

Enter Mike Collins. Rep. Collins has had by far the best takes on the Speaker race throughout all the drama. The self-proclaimed “memer of Congress” knows how completely ridiculous his colleagues seem to America right now. Collins’s brand of establishment-deprecating and unserious humor is a treat online but also kind of exactly what the body needs. These oh so serious men and women taking on oh so serious issues are literally refusing to vote for a Speaker on the basis that they “haven’t ever worked together before.” Translation: they are withholding votes from people who haven’t sucked up to them enough. And while so many are heroes worshiping those eight who started the mess, most of them made their choices based on personal grievances as well. Heroes they are not. Especially considering what fresh monster might end up in the seat thanks to their reckless selfishness. A consequence they were well aware of when they cast their vote against the squishy-but-at-least-Trump-friendly-McCarthy.

Rep. Collins grasps the unseriousness of his body. And in understanding it, perhaps only he can truly lead it where it needs to go. 

See here his list of policy promises and priorities (second from last is my favorite) which are at least as serious and likely as those made by all the other nine candidates to their colleagues and all his best takes which make him Congress’s best path forward: 

1. Mike Collins 4 Speaker

2. Collins has his priorities in order

3. He’s asking the important qs

4. He calls bull when he sees bull 

5. He knows what reforms are necessary to make our government function 

6. He knows a good leader when he sees one 

7. What keeps you up at night? Same as Collins. 

8. He get’s how serious pro-palestinian activism is and how seriously it should be treated

9. He knows what his pals in Congress look like to everyone else 

10. He has a predictive algorithm that is more effective than anything Frank Luntz has used in 10 years 

11. He’s calling them all out 

12. Our fearless leader, Donald J. Trump clearly knows Mike Collins is the way 

13. He keeps the people informed on matters of national security 

14. He knows where this fight is headed

VOTE MIKE COLLINS FOR SPEAKER [EVEN THOUGH WE CAN’T VOTE FOR THIS AT ALL BUT STILL]