6 Things We’ll Kinda Miss About Joe Biden (Even If We Don’t Want To)

Well, we’ve almost officially reached the end of Joe Biden’s presidency. It was a wild ride, full of terrible errors, big “oops” moments, and occasional laughter—usually as a result of unintentionally funny Bidenisms. But before we start celebrating the dawn of a new era, let’s take a moment to reflect on the things we’ll kinda miss about Joe, even though we won’t really miss him at all.

1. The Mystery of Where He’s Going Next Sure, we all know Joe Biden’s schedule, but that doesn’t mean we know exactly where he’s going. Is it to a meeting? Is he off for a nap? Is he wandering offstage to search for the exit door? Who knows! It’s like an adventure every time. Not even Joe knows where Joe is going, and that’s what makes it so thrilling.

2. The “Let Me Be Clear” Soundbite Oh, how we’ll miss the endless stream of “Let me be clear…”—followed by anything but clarity. Whether it’s explaining his policy on inflation, his stance on Russia, or how he’s going to fix America’s gas prices (spoiler alert: he doesn’t know), this phrase has been our comedy gold. Classic Biden.

3. His Ability to Invent New Words Biden is basically the dictionary’s worst nightmare. From “malarkey” to “dog-faced pony soldier,” his vocabulary choices make us wonder if he’s been taking creative writing classes on the side. We’ve all enjoyed guessing his meaning—even when it was literally impossible.

4. The Epic Blink-and-Miss-It Gaffes If you blinked, you missed it. Or at least you thought you did. Joe’s gaffes were like Easter eggs, hidden in every speech and press conference. Did he call the wrong person by the wrong name? Did he almost announce a policy that wasn’t supposed to be public yet? Did it seem like he fell asleep in front of a world leader or maybe pooped his pants? Who’s to say, but it was always a treat for us political junkies to dissect. If nothing else, we’ll miss the thrill of wondering, “Did he just…do…that?”

5. The Uncertainty of Who’s Running the Show Now, who could forget the thrilling mystery of Biden’s leadership? Who’s really making the calls? Is it Joe? Is it Kamala? Is it a team of highly-trained squirrels in the back room? One of the best parts of the last few years has been this deep, philosophical question: Who is in charge here? It was like a game of political “Where’s Waldo?” but with more confusion and less red-and-white stripes. But as we transition to new leadership, we’ll definitely miss the intrigue.

6. The Mystery of Who’s Paying Joe Biden (and How Much) Ah yes, the ongoing saga of Who’s Funding Joe? If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that Joe Biden’s financial backers are as mysterious as his speeches. Is it China? Is it Ukraine? Or maybe another one of Hunter’s, uh, “business associates”? Who knows! With all the shady deals, overseas influence, and business transactions that somehow never quite make sense, it’s been like watching a political thriller—except, instead of a plot twist, we just get more questions. But don’t worry, we’ll definitely miss the intrigue of never quite knowing who is filling the Biden family coffers. Maybe it’s time to check if Joe’s got a part-time gig as a lobbyist for international corporations. Maybe there’s a mystery benefactor who’s funding all those trips—who’s paying for those jet rides, Joe? The world is waiting for the answer…

So, there you have it—six things we’ll miss about Joe Biden’s presidency. Sure, it was a little wobbly at times, and it was basically the worst! But it did give us plenty to talk about.