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Happy Cinco De Mayo! Why can’t politicians eat tacos correctly?
Happy Cinco De Mayo! The Mexican celebration of the day they defeated French troops in battle but ultimately lost the war to those same French troops (it’s fine cause later the US bankrupted Napoleon in our Civil War and then chased him out of Mexico). Even though it’s obviously a minor holiday in Mexico, American’s like a party theme and so American Cinco De Mayo became a day of celebrating Mexican-American cuisine like tacos and margaritas and being awesome as always.
Whether on Cinco De Mayo or not, American’s really love their tacos. Enter politicians trying to be cool.
Over the years, politicians have routinely made a mockery of the very normal act of eating tacos (or burritos or drinking cerveza etc etc). We don’t know why they can’t do it. It’s baffling. Here are the best photos proving politicians can’t do tacos:
- President Obama does a no no at Chipotle
President Barack Obama violated internationally unspoken but clearly understood rules of Chipotle by reaching around the safety guard to point to his burrito toppings. It’s shocking.
- Hillary Clinton seems depressed at King Taco
Hillary’s taco take down isn’t exactly “wrong” since her form seems fine but there is something sort of dark about how much she stuffed in her mouth at once. Even Chelsea seems a little alarmed.
- President Gerarld Ford confused by tamale at the Alamo
President Ford was handed a plate of tamales wrapped in their corn husks from cooking and he just picked one up and bit right into it corn husk and all. Definitely not how you eat a tamale. He was not reelected.
- Pete Buttigieg and his crimes against salsa
On the campaign trail in Detroit Pete Buttigieg said he liked to mix his salsa with ranch dressing. Look, whatever you want to do in the privacy of your own home is fine but some midwestern preferences don’t belong in the public forum. Plus he just eats so aggressively in general.
- George W. Bush sharing goopy nachos
The nachos are clearly served with two plates, my man, have some dignity.
- Kamala is vegan before 6 pm
Kamala Harris visited a famous vegan taco place in Las Vegas recently and instead of being normal told the staff there, unironically, she is “vegan before 6 pm.” Kamala apparently is unaware that non-vegans can eat bean burritos too; it’s actually fine.
- Mitt Romney copies Obama at Chipotle
Per usual, Mitt is unable to learn from the mistakes of democrats and broke the sneeze guard laws of polite society at Chipotle. WHY CAN’T YOU BE BETTER, MITT?
- Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke puts whole taco in mouth
With the deadest eyes in the history of politics and a shocking amount of unused limes, “Beto” just shoves the entire taco in his mouth Clinton style. It’s hard to look at.
- Michelle Obama fights obesity by eating only inner taco
As first lady, Michelle Obama’s primary initiative was fighting obesity so to be fair there are a lot of pictures of her eating. But this one of her only eating the interior of a taco is peak political eater of Michelle. Not how you do it, FLOTUS.
AND FINALLY THE BEST OF THE BEST
- President Donald Trump loves Hispanics
With not a vegetable in sight, President Donald J. Trump is a legend for eating a taco bowl of mostly just ground beef and declaring his love for Hispanics on Cinco De Mayo years ago. If President Trump was good at anything, it was bucking the system. No need to pretend he can eat a taco when he can just have a bowl made.
