The Golden Globes winners are in….and here are the weirdest things that happened

Weirdly the Golden Globes were back on TV on a Tuesday night, January 10. With very low budget production, the Globes featured a host who made some really questionable jokes and very  drunk awardees doing very weird things. 

Here are the highlights: 

Austin Butler won for playing Elvis in Elvis but also he might still think he is Elvis: 

The actor displayed all the mannerisms and affected Elvis’s voice and when asked he said it was just who he is now. He even suggested he might sing Suspicious Minds. Okay, man. 

Michelle Yeoh won for Everything, Everywhere, All At Once and told the very much real pianist to shut-up or she’d beat her up

I think the iconic Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon star was joking but the pianist was named Chloe Flower and a big part of the show so it wasn’t like Yeoh told some off screen producer to shut-up. Plus the threat of violence…I get she’s a martial arts performer but after Will Smith when will we learn Hollywood? Of course liberals loved it because they’re hypocrites. 

Mike White won for creating and running White Lotus but was super drunk and gave sort of a sad “look at me now!” revenge speech it was hard to see

Mike White is a national treasure and I won’t hear anything different but his speech was weird. He started by telling everyone he was drunk because they hadn’t served any food at the party and then he went on a rant thanking Jennifer Coolidge (star of his show) but then railing on everyone saying “everyone passed” on his show and sort of accidentally insulted Jennifer in doing so. He said: “And Jennifer, I love you. We went out with a show we wanted to do with Jennifer, and everybody passed. I know you all passed, you all passed on this show. So yes, it’s very gratifying to have this moment.” Yikes, bro. Very ex-boyfriend at a wedding. 

Kevin Costner won for Yellowstone and couldn’t make it because he was stuck in a flood which is devastating Santa Barbara which Regina Hall found hysterical

Regina Hall was the presenter for the category and was asked to accept the award on behalf of Costner who literally could not leave his home and she laughed hysterically the whole time I think quite possibly not realizing he was stuck in a flood until the very end? Its unclear but it was roughhhhhh. 

Jeremy Allen White won for The Bear and had to hike in from basically the parking lot to accept the award 

He actually gave a really nice speech and the award was well deserved as The Bear is a phenomenally complex show. But the poor man had to walk for like a solid 2 minutes to accept the award. I can’t find a clip of it at this moment but you can see he is visibly sweating. 

Zelensky was there for some reason

I have to credit him. He does know who will influence his biggest supporters. The rich and famous elite. He submitted a pre-recorded video he wasn’t actually there but he definitely could’ve been and they’d have all lined up to suck his di…nner roll.

Host Jarrod Carmichael said so many words oh boy

I think some of Carmichaels controversial jokes hit and some didn’t and I’m all for controversy in a joke but I do insist that jokes be funny. His best one was when he said The Fablemans was so good it “changed Kanye’s mind.” His worst one was reminding everyone that the Beverly Hilton (the venue) was where Whitney Houston died. It seems to have been meant as a joke but he didn’t really construct it as one so much as point out the fact. There’s a rule in controversial comedy and it’s that if you laugh first then you cringe, the joke is okay. If you don’t laugh first it probably was just plain rude.

Eddie Murphy was honored with the Cecil B. DeMille award and was funnier than the host

Eddie Murphy is one of the old guard kings of brash comedy and a true icon of Hollywood. The best joke of the entire night came from Murphy when accepting his award he said: “There is a definitive blueprint that you can follow to achieve prosperity and peace of mind. Pay your taxes, mind your business and keep Will Smith’s wife’s name out your fucking mouth.”

Here are all of this year’s winners from the world’s most awkward award show.