BREAKING: Shocking Report Exposes The Truth About Jeffrey Epstein’s Suicide

The Justice Department’s Office of the Inspector General just dropped a bombshell report on the scandalous antics that went down at New York’s Metropolitan Correctional Center (MCC) while Jeffrey Epstein was chilling there awaiting trial. And let me tell you, it’s a wild ride!

According to the report, those bumbling MCC staff members really dropped the ball. They “forgot” to assign Epstein a new cellmate after he was put on suicide watch. Whoops! They also did a bang-up job of supervising the Special Housing Unit where he was kept. Insert eye roll here. And get this, they couldn’t even make sure the security cameras were working properly.

But that’s not all. Epstein had some serious VIP treatment that other prisoners could only dream of. He managed to make an unmonitored, unrecorded phone call on the eve of his mysterious demise. And guess who he chatted up? An unidentified lady friend who conveniently refused to spill the beans to the Inspector General.

Now, let’s talk about Epstein’s luxurious accommodations. The man had an obsession with bedding, it seems. His cell was piled high with orange linens, giving it a cozy, orange-y vibe. But the real kicker? The staffer who stumbled upon Epstein’s lifeless body found an orange string tied around his neck, connected to the bunk bed.

Two of the prison staffers were initially charged with falsifying prison records, but surprise, surprise, those charges were conveniently dropped later. And as if that wasn’t enough, the report found four other employees for playing fast and loose with the truth, potentially committing some criminal acts.

But here’s the real kicker…

The Manhattan U.S. Attorney’s office decided not to bother prosecuting the record-falsifiers. Gee, I wonder why? As for those who lacked honesty or told porkies, well, their fate is still up in the air. Will they face the consequences? Who knows?

With all of these “mistakes” it’s no wonder there are millions of conspiracies floating around!

Despite all (totally, completely reasonable) doubt, the medical examiner, FBI, and Inspector General all agree that Epstein’s death was indeed a suicide.